Monday, August 30, 2010

The grand explanation. Or, how to sustain a long-lasting injury using squash.

Alas, I was not miraculously healed overnight. The shoulder still hurts.

And since my public (all two of you) wants to know how I injured my shoulder throwing squash, here's the extremely unglamorous story.

You all know we grow a garden. And since I am married to a Tim Allen type who doesn't believe in doing anything small when hello? Bigger is better! We grow a BIG garden with BIG plants that grow BIG squash. And you know how when you don't pick a squash one day because it just needs to get a little bit bigger, so you leave it and then the next day it's the size of a young sumo wrestler?

Yeah. I hate those big ones. They're nothing but seeds on the inside, so I throw them in the woods. (I bet there are thousands of squash plants out there.)

Well, one day this summer I found the mother of all squash and didn't feel like walking down to the wood's edge to throw, so I just hauled off and gave it my best fastball snap. And something in my 49-year-old shoulder protested and continues to cry out for help. I've been taking 800 mg of Motrin every night and it barely takes the edge off.

Wednesday morning I'm finally going to see the doctor about it. Ben says the answer will be physical torture therapy.

I wish I had a better story for you. But learn from my mistake: walk to the woods to throw your sumo squash.

Be thankful ~



Catherine said...

". . . walk to the woods to throw your sumo squash." Words to live by, especially when you are approaching The Big 5-0.

Rotator cuff? If so, they might try a cortisone shot first -- in which case, be sure to practice your Lamaze breathing. The shot is a real killer. (But it helped me a lot.)


NaomiG said...

Ah, it's all very clear now. :-) Too funny. Except if you're you, and then it's just too painful, right?! Hang in there!

Mike said...

Oi, throw underhand. That makes you use your shoulder the way it was designed :D

There's a reason that all pitchers retire with shoulder and elbow injuries :P

Connie said...

Ah, mystery solved! I did rather like Ben's version tho :)

I agree with Catherine. Cortisone shots work wonders and you may not have to have physical therapy if it works. I haven't had one in my shoulder but it wasn't too bad in my elbow. Good luck!