Because I'm feeling sarcastic.

This news just in from Washington, with my commentary.

Senate Democrats reached agreement with key Republicans Friday night on an economic stimulus measure at the heart of President Barack Obama's plan for combatting the worst recession in decades.

Great. Going almost $800 billion further into debt is a great plan.

"The American people want us to work together. They don't want to see us dividing along partisan lines on the most serious crisis confronting our country," said Sen. Susan Collins of Maine, one of two GOP senators who signaled support for the bill.

Wanna bet?

Officials put the cost of the measure at $780 billion in tax cuts and new spending combined. No details were immediately available, and there appeared to be some confusion even among senators about the price tag

Why does this not surprise me?

In addition to Collins, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., said he would vote for the bill.

No surprise there. He's always been a closet liberal.

At $780 billion, the legislation would be smaller than the measure that cleared the House on a party-line vote last week. It also would mean a sharp cut from the version that has been the subject of Senate debate for a week.

I feel SO much better now!

"The world is waiting to see what we're going to do in the next 24 hours," said Reid.

They're waiting for the laugh of the century at our idiocy. I can hear it now, "Those stupid Americans never learn, do they?"

And Democrats in Congress decided to add additional huge sums for the states struggling with the recession, as well as billions more for favored programs such as parks, the repair of monuments in federal cemeteries, health and science research and more.

Great! Because what we really need these days are nicer parks and well-maintained monuments. And it will take BILLIONS--did you read that?--BILLIONS to fix those things.

As Reid struggled to nail down the necessary votes, the White House announced Obama would travel to Florida and Indiana next week to campaign for a stimulus measure.

That's right, Mr. President. Go campaigning. At least you're good at something.

I think I'll keep that house in the country. Just in case.

Be thankful ~

Karen