Never, and I DO MEAN NEVER, buy a Maytag.

I think I've told you before that I have a Maytag Neptune front-load washing machine. Oh, bless my heart.

We've been through the burned up mother-board which Maytag grudgingly replaced, but only if we would drag the machine 60 miles to a repairman. Looking back, we should have literally dragged it 60 miles. Even though it was less than two years old and still under FULL warranty, they wouldn't come to the house because we lived in the middle of nowhere. Sorry, but not my problem.

Anyway, then the mold started showing up on the rubber seal around the door and Maytag replaced it with a "new, improved seal" which was supposed to allow the water to drain better, thereby preventing the mold buildup.

Nyet. Every so often I have to make a bucket of hot, bleachy water and slop it all over the inside of the machine, around the seal, under things and in places I never intended to stick one of my appendages.

And yet I'm still washing my family's clothing in this thing. That's just a little bit nasty.

In the last few weeks I have noticed a distinct odor coming from the machine. It's the same one I smell when I step out of the shower, grab a freshly laundered towel, bury my face in it and inhale. And almost pass out. Ben has been complaining that his t-shirts smell funky. Granted he sweats when he works hard, but it's been much worse than any normal person would expect.

It's beyond awful. It surpasses gross. I can't stop envisioning the mold spores in my freshly washed hair, on my sheets, in all my clothes. ON MY DISHTOWELS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Today I actually considered unhooking all the hoses and pushing it out the door into the driveway.

But because I am a woman of great self-control and obsessive researching, I went to the internet and read people's sob stories looking for help.

Some say use vinegar. I've tried that and it doesn't work.

Others suggest baking soda, borax, commercial odor-fighters, bleach, and using only "he" detergents. None of those has worked for us.

Someone else declared we needed to file a class-action lawsuit. I've already been part of one and got a check from Maytag in the amount of $12.89.

$12.89.

Finally I read a true story-of-last-resort. One guy took his machine apart. You know that tag on the back that says, "Do Not Open This Vented Flappy Thing On The Back - Only A Qualified Technician May Service This Appliance"? Well this guy rebelled. He took the back off. And the sides. And the top. He disconnected wires not knowing if he could ever get them hooked up again. He all but mutilated the mother board. He removed every screw, nut and bolt holding it all together. And you know what he found?

I pause to give you fair warning that what he found may cause you to throw up a little.

He found a solid half inch of built-up detergent, fabric softener, and MOLD in the drum. Not in the inside where you could actually SEE it, but in the surrounding drum which is cleverly hidden from human view. So every time this guy washed his clothes, that built-up mold-ridden scum was sloshing around with them.

Oh my goodness, people! No WONDER they STINK!!!!

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to tear the beast apart next week. What's the worst that can happen, right? And maybe I'll find some scum of my own to clean up, right? And maybe my laundry won't stink anymore and I won't have to sleep in a bed of mold spores, right? And if it all goes south, I'll go down to the river and beat my laundry on a rock. It couldn't smell any worse.

Be thankful ~

Karen