Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I can't believe I'm doing this. . .

Edited: Many thanks to Amy for telling me how to add the button AND get the link right!

I just read over at BooMama's and BigMama's blogs about the upcoming She Speaks Conference. Never having been to one before, I thought that sounded pretty interesting. So I read on.

Now I am wondering if I should have stopped earlier.

It sounds glorious. I've never wanted to be a public speaker, but have felt compelled to write from time to time, and moreso the older I get. I am a grammar nut (just ask my kids), love to read good writing, and would love to have more time to practice it. Here's my problem: I am Mom. Not just a mom, but Mom. Home-schooling Mom, to be exact. I have been Home-schooling Mom for 23 years. So long that it has become my title, my identity, WHO I am, and now I can't imagine that I can be anything else. But at the same time, I am faced with the cold, hard fact that in 3 1/2 very short years I will no longer be Home-schooling Mom. I have been fretting over the decision of what to BE when my last child graduates from high school. This is not just a question of what I will DO; it's what I will BE. Can you hear the mental anguish? Almost makes me want to have another baby, just to postpone the agony.

But not quite.

I'm scared. Scared that I will pursue something I can't actually do. Afraid to try. Can you imagine? I've spent 23 years being the cheerleader of this family and now I'm afraid to try something myself.

So, because I've always told my kids that failure to try is the only failure, I'm going out on a limb and applying for a scholarship (you can too!) to the She Speaks Conference. That's the only way I'll get there with three kids in college. So pat me on the back - I'm trying and I'm scared to death.

Maybe I'll learn how to put the She Speaks button on my blog while I'm there.

Be thankful !



Elaine said...

Love your heart. I hope you are able to go!

Luanne said...

Hi Karen,
I just read your post and I just want to encourage you on your journey. Fear is good. It keeps us holding on to God's hand. If you read the end of my post about serving God, perhaps that will help you. It was something I picked up last year at the conference. I love the one about helping not hoarding. Maybe God doesn't want you to be a famous author but if he's instilled a love of writing in you maybe your lot will be to write the best blog post you can and the right person will be helped. On the other hand you'll never know what he has in store unless you take that step of faith. You will not fail. Success may not come packaged the way you think, but you will not fail, and you will not look or sound like a fool. The women at this conference are the kindest most loving people and they are full of encouragement. Not false encouragement but encouragement to try until you know its right where God wants you.
Take the step and the courage will follow.
Best Wishes,

Amy L Brooke said...

Good to meet you!

I like what you wrote. Hopefully, everyone who has posted will be able to make it one way or another!

Lysa and her team are going to be reading a lot!

I managed to put the button on, so I'm sure you will be able to as well.

Here is some of what someone sent me:
Go to Lysa's post about the scholarship. Right click on the graphic. Do, "Save Picture As"

Now go to your blog and edit your post. Click on the insert photo button...it's next to the insert video one. Click on it and then browse (on the left) to upload your picture. Find the picture you should have just saved. Get it, then cloose upload. The picture should appear in the posting area. When it appears, click on it and then click on the hyper-link button above. Choose http. And in the URL box, type: http://www.shespeaksconference.com.

Make sure it says shespeaksconference

I just put shespeaks at first and got the wrong thing!

Missy said...

Way to go Karen. It's hard getting out of our comfort zone but I know God wants to use you in a powerful way! Blessings!

KarateMom said...

OOO, I hope you get to go!!

Also, I hope you don't mind but I tagged you for a MeMe! Rules and such are on my blog!

Celly B said...

I am a grammar nut, too (former English teacher)! As you are exiting the homeschooling world, I will be entering it next year (any great advice?) I applaud your stepping out in faith, and I pray that God rewards your courage!

Miss Sandy said...

I was a lady-in-waiting for six years. As a deicated homeschool mom, I too felt God's call to a writing ministry. He confirmed the call but put me in a holding pattern until the task at hand, my daughter's education, was complete. I took every opportunity presented to me in the meantime to learn and grow in the craft of writing. My daughter just graduated this past May and now I am free to fully pursue whatever path God has for me. I encourage you to continue to step out and reach for any opportunity presented to you and in His timing He will open doors and bless you for your faithfulness.