My Dad's buddy Jack.

Every once in a while I have a pseudo-brush with fame, most of them very remote. Yesterday was one of those times.

Abbie, Elijah and I went to visit my parents who live about 2 hours from us. We were sitting around the table eating pizza for lunch and I was telling Mom and Dad about my recent high school reunion. Dad knew all the people I went to school with since he was the high school's chemistry and physics teacher.

Mom and Dad went to nearby Manasquan (NJ) High School back in the early 50's and Dad was telling us how he had stopped by the old school for a look-see when they were in New Jersey recently. He told how he walked down the halls thinking things hadn't changed a bit and then came to the auditorium. In his high school days, Dad had participated in a few plays and musicals and such. Above the auditorium doors it said in large letters, "Jack Nicholson Auditorium."

I thought, "Oh how nice. They named the auditorium for a famous actor to encourage the kids."

But no. Dad told us that Jack had gone to school with him, and graduated the year after he did.

Here's what the Internet Movie Data Base has to say about it, just in case you think I'm full of stuffin':

Graduate of Manasquan High School, Manasquan, New Jersey, where he was voted "Class Clown" by the Class of 1954.

I asked Dad if he hung around with Jack in school and he said, "No. I didn't want to get in trouble." Apparently Mr. Nicholson wasn't the most studious guy in the school and didn't have such a hot reputation. He said, "You know that character he played in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? He wasn't acting." But Jack did show up for his 50th reunion in 2004. Can you imagine?

Anyway, they named the auditorium after him because he gave a large sum of money to the school for a really high-tech lighting system.

So there you have it - my vicarious excitement for the day. Enjoy!

Be thankful ~

Karen

My daughter, the missionary.

Next week my daughter and her husband will leave for Thailand for a short-term missions trip. They will spend six weeks there helping another missionary with a specific project. Their church in TN is giving them a sendoff on Sunday and one of the guys asked me to give him some idea of Deb's preparation for missionary life - you know, the things that she experienced growing up that helped shape her into a woman ready to be a missionary. Here's what I told him:

In my opinion, living the military kid life did a lot to prepare her in the area of flexibility - you know, the moving, the packing and unpacking, the living-in-a-friend's-basement-for-6-months-while-your-stuff-is-in-storage kind of life (we lived in this guys' basement for 6 months with our five kids and his wife and five kids - all in one house. Mealtimes were a hoot).

Definitely Teen Missions was the biggest help (summer 2003, age 16) - she lived in a tent, laundry and baths out of a bucket, nothing but rice and beans to eat, coming home with a parasite, snakes dropping on her shoulder out of trees. But those are not the things she took away from that experience. She tells stories of the individual people she met - the doctor who treated them in Cuba knowing he could have gotten in big trouble for it; the lady who had no parting gift for Deb, so she gave the only thing she had - a purple lipstick; the Cuban boy who questioned the government at the youth camp, and was missing the next day; the "missionary" who wouldn't give them their water purifyer (we think she was in cahoots with Castro). She remembers the perfect provision of God - money came in from places we would never have dreamed of; the doctor when they were sick; the dog they were served when they craved meat and there was none. She talks about the complete protection of God when so many things could have gone wrong. She came back from her Cuba trip with a completely different world-view - her world was instantly huge, and there were hurting, lost people out there who needed to be ministered to. Even where there were Christians, they were in hiding, persecuted, fearful of being found out.

We've always been in missions-minded churches so she grew up hearing missionaries talk about God's faithfulness to provide for every need. But it's a different thing entirely to live it out, to see it firsthand, to experience the hunger and sickness and fear of being thrown in jail in a communist country and know that God holds you in His hand.

Her New Zealand/Australia trip was in 2005, and while the circumstances were not nearly as nerve-wracking, it was all part of the plan. She went as a leader on that trip and I would say she probably learned a lot about being a servant - she was the chief cook for 20+ people, three meals a day. They learned a lot about thankfulness - that pumpkin soup was hard to get down and there was a LOT of it. They weren't allowed to throw food away, so it had to be eaten. She definitely ministered to her sister, who wouldn't have gone on a missions trip without moral support, so she helped change Abbie's life too.

I would like to say that I did a great job of preparing her for the mission field, but that would be a lie. God did all the preparing, bringing people and experiences into her life to teach her everything she needed to know about trusting Him fully. He did a great job.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Ha. And ha some more.

The following is a transcript from a Deep South 911 call:

911: 911, what's your emergency?

caller: My wife got tore up by a big warthog! Can you send a ambulance?

911: Right away, sir. What's your address?

caller: 6142 Eucalyptus Street.

911: Can you spell that?

caller: Uhhhhh, I'll just drag her on over to Oak Street and you can pick 'er up there.

A preacher played this in church tonight (there really was a point, though I can't recall what it was), and I totally fell for it until the 911 guy asked the caller to spell the street. That's when I thought something wasn't quite right. Then the caller replied and the laughing in church didn't stop or even slow down for 3 or 4 minutes. Ten minutes later I was still trying to compose myself.

Apologies to those of you in the Deep South who might be offended. Don't be - I claim the South as my home, too.

Be thankful ~

Karen

All in a day's work.

In addition to the usual algebra, biology, English, history, writing, Spanish, and Greek & Latin, and canning tomatoes, we got a few things accomplished today.

We sent "Big Red," my husband's affectionate name for his purple truck, off to be fixed finally. We bought the truck my daughter calls Barney two years ago and started taking it apart to replace the timing chain and associated parts. Ben's just a bit too busy to get to it, so today we sent it to the truck hospital. Hopefully we'll get it back in about a week running like a top.

(I should tell you, or my husband undoubtedly will pirate my blog to share this, that the official name of the color of his truck is "chestnut." Some call it brown, he calls it red, the rest of us call it purple. It's kind of a family joke. Except that he isn't laughing.)

After "Big Red" was hauled off, Elijah got to work digging out a few sickly azalea bushes in the front yard. He was on the lookout for a worm snake for the preschool. The director, Mrs. R., loves to keep animals for the kids to watch and take care of. She had a worm snake earlier in the summer, but someone loved (read squished) it just a little too much. Today Elijah found three of them and put them in a bucket to take to her.
Worm snakes are pretty cool for little kids because they don't bite. At least that's what all the websites tell us. The biggest one (only a foot long) is pretty feisty and doesn't like to be handled, but the other two are pretty mellow. They're easy for kids to take care of because they eat, get this, worms. Imagine that.

So now it's bedtime and I'm ready for it. My newest copy of National Review is calling. . .

Be thankful ~

Karen

It's all relative. Really.

I am a woman.

It stands to reason then, that I love to shop.

So when Leah said she needed a formal dress for her senior recital in November, I said I would be glad to go along to help find one. She had already looked at all the stores in our area, so we knew we would be making a trip to Northern Virginia.

That may not sound like a big deal, but that's because you don't live there. Washington DC, Alexandria and Arlington are numbers 2, 4, and 5 respectively on the list of cities with the most unsafe drivers. Every Friday during the summer, Northern Virginians host a huge block party for all the nice folks trying to head south for the weekend. It takes place on Interstate 95, and stretches from the Capital Beltway to about 60 miles south. Party-goers typically linger 3 hours or so, with only the lucky few escaping the fun in under 2 hours. So it is with fear and trepidation that we venture north, and only when we have to. Heading that direction on a Friday was probably not our best plan.

And yet shopping called.

We tried Woodbridge with the largest mall on the east coast. No luck. We ate lunch in denial that we would have to trek farther north, yet there it was. We were out of options. We gave in to our dastardly fate and drove to Tyson's Corner, home of Tyson's Galleria, the most expensive shopping center I have ever been to and I am not making this up.

Galleria houses Macy's, Nordstrom, Lord and Taylor, and Neiman Marcus, as well as a wide variety of seriously over-priced, hoity-toity boutiques full of fad-fashions whose "in style" shelf-life is slightly shorter than the attention span of a mosquito.

I have joked about sticker shock before, but today took the cake. Here's the tag on a dress I pulled off the rack in Nordstrom for Leah to try on:


I promise this picture was not photo-shopped in any way, shape, or form. This dress cost more than half a semester's tuition plus meal plan. Do you think she got it? Do you think she even tried it on?

No, but some good did come of seeing that price tag. When we went back to the first store to pay $180 for the first dress she found, it didn't seem so bad anymore.

Be thankful ~

Karen

The great before and after. And don't you forget it.

Today my buddy came to visit. I was happy because he makes me laugh. When he got here, he walked in, kicked off his flip-flops and headed for the sunroom and his favorite toy. He sat on the couch playing and talking to the dog for a few minutes, then got up, stood in the doorway, and let out a blood-curdling cry that wouldn't end. I wondered if he was going to come up for air.

I ran to him, thinking he had been stung by a bee or some equally awful fate and asked him what happened.

He screamed, "Aaaahhhhh waaa baaaaaaaaeeeeeee!"

Me: What?????

Bailor, still screaming: Aaaaahhhhh waaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaeeeeeeee!

I couldn't find any injuries and had no idea what the nervous breakdown was about, so I asked one more time for information regarding his disturbed state.

He repeated himself with gusto and I finally got it. He wanted his blankie.

Cheerful as ever, I said, "Oh, you can have your blankie when Mommy gets home. Let's go get Abbie's blankie," to which he replied, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I tried my best persuasive techniques to convince him that Abbie's blankie was A-one, nice and soft, sweet-smelling, to no avail. The meltdown continued.

At which point I phoned his house and shouted, "Someone brought this child over here without his blankie and he is coming unglued! Will you please bring it to me???"

They could hear him screaming from next door. Within 30 seconds Ashton and Elijah were coming in the front door with the day's salvation.

Before blankie:

After blankie:

The moral of the story?

Don't leave home without it.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Somebody take this thing away from me.

I don't actually own a camera. And there's a good reason for it. When left to my own devices with such a gadget, I come home with pictures like this:


You may be wondering why I took a picture of a cigarette billboard.

Well, since you're wondering, I'll tell you.

Do you see that sign? Do you see that it says six dollars? And five cents? For emphysema-in-a-box?? For the pleasure of stinking and exponentially increasing your chances of getting some form of cancer. But don't miss out, because it's a special offer!

*shaking my head*

Be thankful ~

Karen

A new way to lose weight.

So I just read a few blogs and I feel much better. Apparently I'm not the only one who's been too busy to write much lately. What ever happened to the lazy days of summer? I'm seriously looking forward to the days of lying by the woodstove.

Today Elijah and I took our once-every-six-week trip to the orthodontist, and since it's a long drive, I filled the car with gas before we went.

Dumb.

We've been excited to see the price of gas dropping here lately and it's finally down to $3.56. But not too far down the road we saw it for $3.43. Makes me want to carry a 50-gallon drum in the trunk so I don't miss a good deal when I see it.

Elijah's been pretty antsy about getting his braces off. It's been a little over two years, and he's had his longer than any of the other kids did. Last visit he got a rubber band on one side. Today he got a thicker one on that side, and another thick one right across the front of his mouth, from the bottom of one side to the top of the other. Honestly, the kid can't even open his mouth.

Now this does have possibilities, but I'm trying not to joke about it since he seems a bit distressed by the whole thing. And the fact that these rubber bands come in flourescent colors doesn't help.

And since he's a teenage boy with accompanying appetite, distressed quickly became panic-stricken when he realized he couldn't eat or even drink through a straw. I assured him he could take it out to feed what we lovingly call the garbage-gut, then put it back in when he was through. His problem is that he never really finishes eating, so he foresees a lot of taking out and putting in in his future. I should try this as a new diet - you know, sort of like stapling the stomach, only closer to the source.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Bad! Bad! Bad blogger!

I was so excited about the incredible aroma of baking tomatoes with browned, crusty cheese spread all over the top that I forgot to take a picture of the tomato pie I made yesterday. And now, of course, it's much too late.

I guess that means I'll have to make another one.

Hurt me.

In other news, my grammar has been corrected. I was all proud of myself for teaching my kids the difference between lay and lie, but neglected to include that funny maritime usage of "lay about" which means turn around or something like that. Leave it to the Brits to screw up the English. Honestly.

And in other other news, I have everything I need to start the school year except the Spanish. I'm putting that off since it's $219 and I just spent a little over six hundred on my glasses. I can only take so much sticker shock. Of course, $219 next week is the same as $219 this week, so I really don't know what I'm gaining, but that's the way it is. We've paid tuition for two kids, bought all their books, and I'm putting a lock on the checkbook. Ben says it's a hemorrhage.

We need more platelets.

Be thankful ~

Karen

What have I done?

I am not great at very much. I'm a pretty average person in most respects. I'm a pretty decent wife, good mom, pretty good housekeeper, and probably a better-than-average cook.

But if there's one thing I can do well, it's teach my kids English. I've been a bit of a pedant for a long time, thanks to my own dear mother, who was also a teacher of all things English, and is still very fussy about correct grammar.

When Leah was about nine years old, we were at a Navy retirement ceremony for a friend of ours and the story called, "I Have the Watch" was read. In it, there's a line that goes, "and lay about smartly." When that part was read aloud, she leaned over to me and whispered, "Lie."

At the tender age of nine she knew that the verb lay had to have a direct object, and that what the author really meant was "lie about smartly."

And I found Elijah not long ago reading the book Eats, Shoots and Leaves and laughing out loud at how removing a comma can change the entire meaning of a sentence.

So imagine my delight yesterday when I received a birthday card from my oldest daughter, Deb, now married and living far away. The front reads:

I know what you'd like on your birthday - T. L. C.

Then the inside says:

Ten Less Candles! Only she had crossed out the "less" and written "fewer."

I love that child!

Ben read the card and said, "You've ruined our children." I think maybe I've made them into carbon-copy pedants, just like me.

But as my great-grandmother used to say, "It's better than hanging over a bar."

Be thankful ~

Karen

Disjointed thoughts, in a handy list format.

1. I fixed the vacuum. I don't know if that's good or bad since that means the misery of burning hair will continue.

2. Pete started acting clingy and nervous two hours ago. Now it's thundering. It must be incredible to hear that well.

3. I just got my first prescription for bifocals. They cost $650. Somebody shoot me.

4. I love cleaning my house. Too bad I can't get paid $100K plus benefits for doing it.

5. On the other hand, I hate cleaning the shower. I would pay somebody $100 to do that. Please note I didn't say $100K.

6. I'm making tomato pie and homemade bread tomorrow. I'll take pictures.

7. My big van gets 14 mpg. When I bought it gas was 99 cents a gallon, but I love it anyway, bless its big gas-sucking heart.

8. I will force myself to go to the gym tomorrow whether I want to or not.

9. Who am I kidding? I already know I don't want to.

10. School starts at the Bensrib house in 12 days. I am unprepared. So what else is new?

Here's hoping my thoughts will be more coherent tomorrow. Maybe exercise will help.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Reality strikes again.

So the reunions were an awful lot of fun, and we got to spend some time on the beach which I dearly longed for. I think the thing I miss most about the beach is the smell. When you're driving toward the ocean, there comes a point at which you get that first whiff of salty air, and when it hits me a rush of calm euphoria washes over me.

Yeah, I miss it.

We got home Sunday afternoon in time for Abbie to have a panic attack over the imminent start of college classes, Ben to be sick, and me to fill in at the daycare on Monday. Oh, the joy.

Now here it is Tuesday and I've spent the day running errands, then coming home to a filthy house. Dog hair is holding the walls up.

So I've swept and mopped, cleaned bathrooms and done laundry, and finally got the vacuum out.

My vacuum and I have a history. And it's not a good one.

I have a first-name relationship with the repairman. He laughs with glee when he sees me coming. I feel sure if I added up all the money I've put into this vacuum, I could have put all five kids through college and had money left over for a maid service.

Part of our problem is hair. Not the dog hair, but the people hair. Specifically the girl hair. It's long. And gets wound around the brush roll and impacted in the bearings. Our latest problem is that the roll has seized. That means it won't turn. And while the motor is turning and the brush roll isn't, there's a distinct smell of burning rubber and hair. Think sulphur pits at Yellowstone Park.

So I gave up at 2 pm. When the girls came home from work at 4:30, Abbie's first words were, "Wow, it stinks in here!"

Hi, dear. Good to see you too. How was your day? Mine was fine.

Now it's Wednesday and I gave the old machine one last chance before I dropped it off at the vacuum morgue. I took the brush roll apart and chipped the petrified hair out of the bearings at each end. It worked long enough to vacuum the living room and earn a stay of execution.

But not for long. The self-propelled function is on its last legs and that just won't do.

Here's what I'm getting next:


Be thankful ~

Karen

On the road again. . .

Tomorrow Ben and I are going to New Jersey for our high school reunions. I won't say how many years, but it's a lot.

I've never been to one of mine, so this will be a new thing for me. I'm excited, but I might be more excited about the great pizza and going to the beach.

I'll take pictures. See you Sunday!

Be thankful ~

Karen

I'll keep my regular job.

Are you athletic? Good at sports?

I am SO not.

The only sport I ever had any success at was running, and I strove to be average at that.

Give me a ball and I melt into a puddle of uncoordination. I would be embarassed, but at 46, I don't think I'm often judged by my ability to play a game. I'm thankful for the little things.

So when I spent two weeks with the 5-12 year olds in daycamp, it was a challenge. Those people are active, I tell you. We always had gym time in the afternoon, and would play all manner of games with balls of various sizes. One day there weren't too many of us, and 11-year old Jonathan was trying to teach me to shoot baskets. This kid is the next Michael Jordan.

He coached. He encouraged. He lowered the basket so I could touch the rim. I am not kidding. Here's the result:



Good thing I can cook.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Yes, it really is.

And just in case you didn't know, today is National Underwear Day.

I'm not quite sure what the purpose of that is, but this morning on the radio one of the announcers reminded everyone that putting on fresh underwear would make you feel wonderful, and he said he was feeling quite wonderful himself at the moment.

Ahem.

I encourage you NOT to do an internet search on this subject, as you will undoubtedly pull up sites that are rather inappropriate for family viewing.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Title-less, because I can't think right now.

What an incredible week at camp! We love the WILDS - great preaching, great music, tons of fun, awesome hikes, and the food's not too bad either!

We took 18 teenagers down last Monday in two vans. Nine hours on the road and we were actually there 15 minutes before the registration window opened - that's a first. Here's some of our group being silly:



I can't possibly show you all the pictures we took - there were hundreds - but I'll share a few from our hikes.

These are some of the over-300 steps climbing up out of the second falls:
Our view of Lake Toxaway taken from the path:

First falls is on top, second falls is below. Again, our view from the trail:

One of the highlights of a trip to the Wilds is the giant swing. If you've never seen it, you really can't appreciate just how high up it takes you. They strap you into skydiving harnesses, hook you up to this cable that pulls you up and back, and when it gets to the top, it lets go and you free-fall. It's horrifying.

The day our girls were going on the swing it was POURING rain. Here are Boo and Joy getting pulled up:

And here they are in flight:

We were standing under a broken, borrowed umbrella to protect the camera while taking these shots. We also got a video of Abbie and Sarah on the swing. In the video, just before the cable lets loose, you can hear Ben praying very loudly, "LORD JESUS, PLEASE KEEP MY GIRL SAFE!"

It's not a fun thing for a parent to watch.

And oh, the screaming!

Anyway, we had a ball as always, and we're already making plans for next year. If you ever just get a hankerin' to send your kids to an awesome summer camp, do check out the WILDS. It's unforgettable.

Be thankful ~

Karen

*sigh*

I really am trying to get a post with pictures from the WILDS up here, but blogger is not cooperating. I keep getting nasty-grams from the photo uploader. And since I worked hard today and I'm pretty tired, I'm calling it quits and going to bed.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Be thankful ~

Karen

I'm still here. . .

We made it home safely and dumped all the dirty, wet, stinky laundry in the middle of the living room floor. I should have taken a picture, right? Anyway, we had a great week at camp and the 18 kids who went are already making plans for next year. Their goal is to fill the "big" bus - a 60-passenger motorcoach. I'm with them.

We got to see our good friends Tom and Karen not just once, but TWICE. They took us to their place on Lake James and we spent the day in their son Josh's boat. And when we had a hankering for Chinese food, we knew they'd find just the right place. We weren't disappointed.

Tomorrow I'll post pictures of the incredible things we did.

Stay tuned.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. To say nothing of buying fat pigs.

So I'm coming home today.

Now that I've posted all those pictures for your perusing enjoyment, does they still count as wordless if they have a title?

Be here soon with camp pictures. And stories.

Be thankful ~

Karen

This is what happens when the kid beats you.